Living apart from my soul
by MarinaAnderson
Summary: Blaine has spent the last six years in captivity, slowly losing his mind until is hard for him to remember his own name. But one day in his dark world a new individual appears - 5-years old Bobby who is also kidnapped. In his attempts to help the little boy, Blaine is starting to remember who he was and starts to desire to get his freedom, his life and his husband back.
1. Prologue: Day Zero

**PART ONE: Counting**

Prologue: _Day zero_

He woke up in the darkness. For a minute or two he just kept his eyes closed wondering _who_ he was. He didn't remember, but did it even have any matter at all? It didn't, he decided so instead he started wondering what day it was. Of course he didn't remember that either. Somehow he had stopped asking himself where he was or why he was here long ago, but he always wanted to know what day it was. He couldn't tell why that was so important though.

When he first came here he started to count the days but then somewhere after day 350 he lost the counting. He wanted to start again but it was so hard when he didn't see the sun anymore, when nothing at all happened in his life, when everything was always the same.

That thought shot his eyes open. Everything was _not _always the same, not today.

Just then he realized that what woke him up in a first place was a sound, _crying_. It was quiet and weak, and somehow it broke his- _well, that thing beating in his chest_, he couldn't remember its name right now.

Although his eyes were wide open he couldn't see a damn thing. For a moment he wondered why that is and then it hit him: _light;_ this is how they call it when you can see the objects around you, right? Before when he managed to actually remember something like that it used to give him a happy feeling in his chest. But recently he was just numb all the time. It was different today though – he wasn't feeling happy, no, but there was something else. _Curiosity._

His mind was working faster and he could hear the sobbing quite clear. Slowly he lifted himself from the ground and looked around the room. In a while he was able to distinguish the silhouette of a really small body curled up in a ball next to the wall, trembling.

It was a boy, little fragile boy, crying completely alone in the big dark room. He felt the urge to go and comfort him, to take the small body in his arms: in a _hug_, he remembered. He didn't want the boy to cry, but then he did, he wanted them both to cry together because for the first time in so long he was _feeling_ something. And, _hell_, he didn't want that to end.

Swaying, he made his way to the boy and slowly put his shaking hand on his shoulder.

The reaction was immediate – the boy just started screaming with all his voice, piercing the man's ears. Obviously the child hadn't been aware of the fact that there is another person in the room.

The man wanted to make him stop, to tell him there is nothing to be afraid of, to comfort him and to wipe the terrified tears from his little eyes. But he just couldn't find his voice, buried somewhere deep in his throat. He didn't even remember the last time he had used it. Finally he said quietly:

"Shh, it's okay, don't be afraid!" It wasn't as he expected to be, he thought he was going to hear a dead man's voice but he didn't. It was rough and his throat but there was softness in it. The boy heard it too and stopped screaming right away. Instead started to sob again tangling his hands around man's waist.

The feeling of the little boy in his hands made his own tears cry, made him finally feel again. Before he realized it he was quietly humming in his ear. It was amazing that he couldn't remember his own name but the words just came naturally from his mouth.

_"__I'm a get your heart racing__  
__In my hands on me__  
__In my skin-tight jeans skin-tight jeans__  
__Be your teenage dream tonight__  
__Let you put your __  
__Be your teenage dream tonight._"

As he sang he felt the by calming down in his hands.

"What is your name?" He whispered. The boy didn't answer at first then very quietly with a hesitance in his voice he said:

"B- Bobby. What's- what's yours?" '_I do not remember_' - he wanted to say but instead without even thinking_, instinctively _he answered:

"Blaine"

The boy finally lifted his head to look at him not that in the dark they could actually see each other's faces.

"Blaine?" His voice sounded stunned. "Like in the fairytales?"

"What fairytales?" Blaine asked softly.

"You know how in almost every fairytale the name of the prince is Blaine-" The fear had almost left Bobby's voice and that made Blaine's heart beat faster_: heart; _that was the word. He was finally happy for being able to comfort the boy.

"Really? I've never heard a single fairytale where the prince's name is Blaine."

"No way! My dad tells me one every night" Then suddenly the boy started crying again, heartbreaking sobs coming from his mouth. "I want to go back home, I want my Daddy-"

"Shh, please don't cry, please, you'll be home soon, I promise you! You'll see your dad soon" He was rocking the boy gently, knowing that he's giving promises he couldn't possibly keep. "Maybe you can tell me one of yours fairytales, can you?"

And just like that, holding Bobby and whispering soft words in his ear, he finally remembered. Who he was, why he was here, what he had lost in his life… But he couldn't know what day it was and somehow that was important for him. Maybe that was the moment to start counting again – now that something new was _finally_ happening in his life.

It was day zero from Bobby and Blaine friendship…

_._

**A/N: Hello! This is my first fic and I'm so excited for posting it. It's a big challenge for me not just because of that though, but the first thing I've ever written in English which is not my native language. So I feel obliged to apologize for any mistakes – I'm really really trying (I don't have a beta, at least not yet; if someone is interested, please feel free to write me).  
I know that first chapter might be a little confusing for you but let me make that clear – this is a Klaine fic and everything in it has something to do with Kurt and Blaine (although in the first few chapters Kurt won't appear, still he has a giant role in this story). I promise you, this is really interesting in my head so I hope you, guys, to stick with me.  
As I already said this is my first fic, so please if you read this, leave some review for me, I need to hear some opinions. It would mean the world for me!**

**Of course I do not own Glee or any of its characters! They belong to their respective owners. Also I don't own 'Teenage dream'.**

**Marina xxx**


	2. Chapter 1: Apart

Chapter One: _Apart_

The police officer, Ronald Buck, scratched the back of his bald head and glanced along the clock. It was almost three o'clock in the fucking morning. What a night! He had planned to go home, have some burgers with fries for dinner and watch the game, while his chubby wife keeps retelling the latest gossips she heard in the supermarket, something about their neighbor's new mistress. But instead he was stuck here in this absolutely ridiculous situation (of course he didn't say _ridiculous _in front of his colleagues, he didn't want them to think he was _insensitive_ or something; yet he couldn't help but wonder why those criminals couldn't kidnap children in reasonable hours).

The noise in the room was unbearable – everyone was crying. The little boy, David, who has witnessed the incident, was sobbing hard against his mother's chest. The mother was trembling herself, sharp whines escaping her throat. That made officer Buck crazy and he felt the urge to slap her, but as he had been informed she was this bigwig in FBI Ted Adams's sister. But the real terror for his aching head was the man, the father of the other boy, the one that had disappeared. He was absolutely hysterical, mumbling some nonsense and sobbing so loud that officer Buck couldn't hear his own thoughts. The other women, the brown-haired one, was holding him in her arms and slowly caressing his hair. She was the quietest of all, her tears just falling slowly across her face. She had said she wasn't the father's wife though, nor the disappeared kid's mother. And of course she wasn't – let's god kill him, if that man wasn't some king of disgusting queer.

Apart from that group, there was one more of his colleagues in the room, Murdock, who was trying to comfort the kid in order to finally finish the interrogation.

"It's okay, boy, everything's gonna be j'st fine. You j'st have to tell us what happened, so we can help your friend. That's all!" He was nice now just because he was talking to Ted Adam's nephew, officer Buck was sure of that. _Such a poser! _

The kid kept crying but he mother finally recollected herself and said:

"They- uhm- they had a s- sleepover at my house" She stammered "It was David birth- birthday yesterday, t-that's why. A- and then I- I was sleeping and- I heard noises s- so I went to s- see if everything is- if there was something wrong with the b- boys. And then- I don't- everything went black and- I think someone h- hit me. I woke up later b- by David's sc- screams and B- Bobby- Bobby was g-gone" Buck really couldn't understand why she was so upset. Her kid was fine, right?

"Were you alone with the kids?" Murdock asked, sympathy in his voice. Of course, it was _fake sympathy_, Buck thought. The woman nodded, her messy blond hair stuck on her face by the tears. "Where was your husband, Ms Adams?"

"I'm divorced; my husband left me while I was pregnant with David. Three months after that the police came in my apartment to search for him for a row of crimes. Haven't heard of him since" She had finally stopped stammering, her voice became cold and distant while she spoke about her ex-husband.

"Do you think he has something to do with the kidnapping?" She thought for a few moments, her eyes wide as if she hadn't considered that possibility until now. Then suddenly she nodded. "Who works on his case? We probably should transfer the last events' investigation to them"

"My brother, agent Ted Adams. I called him already, he's in Boston right now but he'll be here as soon as possible" Murdock sighed and with an absent 'Thank you, miss' turned his attention back to the boy.

"Come on, little boy, you have to tell us what has happened. We really want to help your friend" Murdock put a hand on David's shoulder. The kid picked up his gaze to meet his mother's eyes. She nodded, her face softer.

"I was thirsty and went to drink some water, and then I heard noise, and I thought it was Bobby or mamma, and I was just about to go back in my room, and then I saw this man, and he was wearing a mask, and I got really scared but I didn't scream because I remembered I'm already six, and he didn't saw me in the dark, and then mamma came out of her room but he hit her really hard, and it was so scary, and then he just- just grabbed Bobby from my room, and Bobby woke up and started screaming, and I wanted to do something because I'm six already and he's only five so I'm supposed to protect him, but I didn't do anything, and then he was just gone, and I couldn't hear Bobby screaming anymore, and it was all my fault!" The kid was speaking so fast, taking sharp breaths on every _and_. But at his last words, filled with so much guilt and devastation, the other's boy father raised his head and put his hand on David's back.

"Oh, David, oh, no, no, no, it wasn't your fault at all. You were so brave not to scream, otherwise the bad man would hurt you too and there would be no one to wake your mamma and to tell us what happened. And then there would be no chance to help Bobby at all" His voice high-pitched and trembling, but his words seemed to help as David started to calm dawn a bit.

The whole scene was so touching that it could move a dead man's heart, but of course not officer Buck's one. In his opinion children were unnecessary, noisy, little brags, so he wouldn't complain if someone took his. Thank god he didn't have any!

The realism from the father's eyes disappeared as fast as it had started and he went back to just sobbing in the brawn-haired women's chest (according to the file her name was Ms Anderson). Then he started mumbling loudly again:

"No, no, no, I can't, I just can't lose my Bobby. I already lost my husband; I cannot lose my little boy, not my Bobby B." _Husband. _So he was a queer, after all. How were such digesting people allowed to raise children, was beyond Buck. "God, why do I have to keep _living apart from my soul_?"

_Oh, let this nonsense finally finish_, officer Buck thought feeling again the urge to go back to his aimless existence, far away from all that drama.

* * *

Day one. Monday. It was such a great thing to finally be able to count again. Blaine didn't know how and why, but he needed that, he felt as his life finally had a purpose again.

During the restless sleep this night all his memories and thoughts had flown away, only two things remained in his head when he opened his eyes in _what he supposed was_ the morning. The one was his name; he did remember his name so clearly that he actually asked himself how he could ever forget it. The other was about the day – it was day one, it was Monday (that's how you call the first day, right?). He didn't know what comes next, but yet this didn't worry him, it was tomorrow's concern. And then it occurred to him that he hadn't thought about _tomorrow_ in so long.

Then the question came – why? What was different?

Well, for a start, there was a boy cuddling into his chest. He was sleeping, somehow peacefully, in his arms, his little head next to Blaine's heart.

Blaine found himself smiling – it was painful, his face muscles stretching widely for the first time in so long, but he couldn't help it. Somehow the very idea of finally having someone in the darkness, of finally not being completely alone, filled him with- with feelings. He slowly remembered the boy's name, Bobby, the details about their meeting last night were coming back to him.

He just stayed like that, quietly hugging the boy, caressing his cheek and stroking his hair. Bobby was so small in his hands, so fragile and Blaine felt the irresistible desire to protect him, to make safe and happy, to help him. It was different – feeling needed.

In his feverish dreams he had often dreamed about _someone_ else saving him. This _someone_ usually had blue eyes and pale skin, and such a tender smile. After every single of these dreams Blaine had woke up with guilt boiling in his guts. He was supposed to know this _someone_ but he couldn't remember his name, he couldn't remember where he had seen him. Blaine had one possession only – a beautiful, golden ring on his left index finger. He didn't know where he had it from but it meant everything to him. After such a dream he felt guilty for wearing the ring, as his skin was burning under it. He had never put it off though, because somewhere deep in himself he believed that if he could lose himself in the pain, he would be able to _remember_ – his _someone_, the reason he was there, the life that he supposed he had had before he came here.

The tears started falling upon his yet smiling face. He sunk back in his delirium, tightening his grip around the boy.

Somehow the words of this old forgotten song came back to his head right before he lost conscious:

_Living apart from my soul  
Holding in hand my beating heart._

_It is golden fall –  
Where the days go by  
While everything else die._

_Losing my breath,  
I keep searching why  
Is every step here a threat  
And why do birds always cry_?

_Over the endless sea of words  
I cannot see my dreams flying  
And it hurts._

_And where did love go_  
_even the silence doesn't know._

.

**A/N: Hello! Thank you so so much to all those of you that followed or reviewed the very beginning of this story! It meant the world for me.  
I planned for this chapter to include more things but then I really couldn't finish it as I wanted, so after delaying it for so long, I decided to upload it like this. I promise that the things will become quite clearer in the next few chapters. Although I'm sure this one already gave you some hints about who Bobby is, didn't it? I hope you to like that chapter as well and leave me a review!  
Also, I wanted to say that officer Buck is basically inspired by every single state employee in my country. :D**

**Glee and its characters belong to their respective owners.**

**Marina xxx**


End file.
